Thursday, October 29, 2009
flying.
i hate airplanes. i hate the recycled air, the cramped seats, the weird smells, and most of all, i HATE flying. taking off is the worst, followed by any turbulence experienced throughout the flight. i don't particularly mind landing, because i know that the flight is almost over. i was reading about the fear of flying, and here are some of the causes:

The fear of flying may be created by various other phobias and fears:

  • a fear of closed in spaces (claustrophobia), such as that of an aircraft cabin
  • a fear of heights (acrophobia)
  • a feeling of not being in control
  • fear of vomiting, motion sickness can make the person vomit, thus making flying hard.
  • fear of having panic attacks in certain places, where escape would be difficult and/or embarrassing (agoraphobia)
  • fear of hijacking or terrorism
  • fear of turbulence
  • fear of flying over water or night flying
  • fear of crashing resulting in injury or death
  • the result of hormone release during pregnancy [3]
  • the result of difficulty with the regulation of emotion when not in control due to developmental issues [4]
i can safely say that i am afraid of about eight of the eleven things listed. i'm not sure why i even bothered reading- now i just feel like i'm nuts.

anyway, here's to a long night of flying.
Written at 6:28 PM by jessica.
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Friday, October 23, 2009
lyrical genius?
i think tom waits may be one of my very favorite lyricists of all time. he is absolutely amazing in every way and i adore him and would be ecstatic if i could sit and have coffee with him. listen to the spoken word track on "orphans: bastards" called "missing my son" and let me know what you think. as a matter of fact, i'll send it to you if you want to listen.

today was nice. i enjoy being able to say that sometimes.
Written at 2:50 AM by jessica.
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Wednesday, October 21, 2009
i will not stand for it!
you treat me like shit, i throw you out of my life. simple.
i regret drunkenly apologizing for NOTHING just to smooth things over (i am a repeat offender- i have done this numerous times). i take it back, and i'm over it. no cares.

going to sleep before 3 a.m. would probably be nice once in a while.
Written at 3:01 AM by jessica.
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Monday, October 19, 2009
go away, assholes
think of all the things that are wrong with your life and then fix them
think of all the things that you love about your life, be thankful you are blessed with them
think of all the things that hold you back and realize that you don't need them
think of all the mistakes you have made in your life, make sure that you never repeat them.

-p.b.

sometimes i think that i give good advice, but then i realize that i am a complete hypocrite and never take my own advice. at least i'm aware of the fact i'm a completely hypocritical piece of shit, so i can warn people ahead of time that my words may be completely erroneous coming from someone such as myself. man, sometimes it sort of sucks being so self-aware. i think that i understand myself too well, which results in complete apathy in regards to changing myself.
Written at 10:00 PM by jessica.
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Sunday, October 18, 2009
jessica is always mad.
last night i dreamt of old lovers, spent the afternoon daydreaming about newer lovers. i hate reminiscing, because it always ends up feeling like cold feet and headaches.
Written at 10:37 PM by jessica.
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