let's rip each other apart and will ourselves to force grins with teeth clenching down and grinding themselves into dust, smiling for the cameras with faces turned in opposite directions. hold it against me if that's how you roll but nothing will hurt you more than my hands tracing circles on your stomach, tugging at your insides when nobody else was around to puppeteer your strings. you loved the extent of my worries and cares and basked in the glow while slinking away, leaving me dry and crumpled helplessly at your side, begging to be forgiven for the sins that i never committed. the extent of your wanting was based purely on neglect, and the thrill was enough to give you the ammunition to find me when i was cowering like an animal, begging for company that was begrudgingly offered to me as my temporary fix. just like an addict, craving the next hit. the words in your sentences will never be more than jumbles of letters in languages that you don't even understand. i was never out to get you. i was never a sinner.

stop preaching, start listening.